Marriage is the death of hope. Woody Allen
It is impossible to love and be wise. Francis Bacon
What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. Pearl Bailey
Reject hatred without hating. Mary Baker Eddy
What the public wants is the image of passion, not passion itself. Roland Barthes
Helpmate: A wife, or bitter half. Ambrose Bierce
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. William Blake
If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry. Anton Chekhov
Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. Anthony J. D'Angelo
Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. R. Drabek
A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature. Ralph Waldo Emerson
All mankind loves a lover. Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm a great housekeeper. I get divorced. I keep the house. Zsa Zsa Gabor
Women make love for love, men make love for lust. Derrick Harge
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Thomas Haynes Bayly
Love and a cough cannot be hidden. George Herbert
Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise. John Heywood
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life. Eric Hoffer
Burning desire is the eternal flame. Doug Horton
Love is a given, hatred is aquired. Doug Horton
Money is good, love is wealth. Doug Horton
No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys. Doug Horton
Love is like the measles, all the worse when it comes late. Douglas Jerrold
Kindness is loving people more than they deserve. Joseph Joubert
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. Dorothy Law Nolte
When love turns into dust, money becomes the substitution. D. H. Lawrence
Love: The delusion that one woman differs from another. Henry Louis Mencken
My husband gave me a permanent wave, and now he's gone. Dawn Messer
The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of. Blaise Pascal
There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved. George Sand
Truth is fiction when spilled from the lips of a man. Lisa Tillotson
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? Lily Tomlin
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. Voltaire
Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Mae West
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. Mae West
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. Oscar Wilde
People who are sensible about love are incapable of it. Douglas Yates
A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.
Before you find your handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs.
Contention is better than loneliness.
Hatred is toxic waste in the river of life.
Hearts are often broken when words are unspoken.
Her kisses left something to be desired - the rest of her.
I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.
If there is anything better than being loved, it's loving.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Love will make you forget time, and time will make you forget love.
Love your neighbors, but don't pull down the fence.
Marriage is not a word - it is a sentence.
One does not make friends, one recognizes them.
She's the kind of woman you could fall madly in bed with.
The surest sign that a man is in love is when he divorces his wife.
There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.
All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. Aristotle
The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. Richard Bach
Most plans are just inaccurate predictions. Ben Bayol
It gets late early out there. Yogi Berra
Try to relax and enjoy the crisis. Ashleigh Brilliant
He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. Confucius
If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Frederick Douglass
Efficiency is intelligent laziness. David Dunham
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. Scott Elledge
The Promised Land always lies on the other side of a wilderness. Havelock Ellis
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. Ralph Waldo Emerson
My work is a game - a very serious game. M. C. Escher
You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. Henry Ford
Failure to prepare is preparing to fail. Benjamin Franklin
Well done is better than well said. Benjamin Franklin
Most problems are either unimportant or impossible to solve. Victor Galaz
We will burn that bridge when we come to it. Nick Gorski
If one has not given everything, one has given nothing. Georges Guynemer
No vacation goes unpunished. Karl A. Hakkarainen
Never mistake motion for action. Ernest Hemingway
It is by will alone that I set my mind in motion. Frank Herbert
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure. Oliver Herford
Genius is an infinite capacity for taking pains. Jane Hopkins
In labouring to be brief, I become obscure. Horace
If food were free, why work? Doug Horton
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. Thomas Jefferson
What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure. Samuel Johnson
The best way to predict the future is to invent it. Alan Kay
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. Henry Kissinger
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. Lao Tsu
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. Charlie McCarthy
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. Wilson Mizner
Parkinson's First Law: Work expands to fill the time available.
A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood. George Patton
You will break the bow if you keep it always stretched. Phaedrus
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. Pablo Picasso
Necessity is the mother of invention. Plato
The beginning is the most important part of the work. Plato
Consistency is the final refuge of the unimaginative. Ray Prince
I want to be what I was when I wanted to be what I am now. Ray Prince
People who work sitting down are paid more than people who work standing up. Ray Prince
Work is only work if you'd rather be doing something else. Ray Prince
Man is only happy as he finds a work worth doing, and does it well. E. Merrill Root
Don't remember what you can infer. Harry Tennant
Men have become the tools of their tools. Henry David Thoreau
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Mark Twain
I function as a channel from which music emerges from the chaos of noise. Vangelis
Sometimes you gotta create what you want to be a part of. Geri Weitzman
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde
Furious activity is no substitute for understanding. H. H. Williams
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. Stephen Wright
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. Steven Wright
A hospital is no place to be sick. Samuel Goldwyn
When dealing with the insane, it is best to pretend to be sane. Herman Hesse
Insanity: a perfectly rational adjustment to the insane world.
Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.
All these nervous breakdowns are driving me crazy. Lee Hawkins
The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking. Katherine Cebrian
I have taken more good from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me. Winston Churchill
Your eyes are always bigger than your stomach. Confucius
Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion. Ovid
There is no sincerer love than the love of food. George Bernard Shaw
Wine is bottled poetry. Robert Louis Stevenson
If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.
Friendships develop over food and wine. Prince Nicholas Romanoff
If I didn't have a problem with alcohol, I'd drink all the time. Havelock Ellis
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified. Aesop
Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commision. Fred Allen
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up. Woody Allen
You can run with the big dogs or sit on the porch and bark. Wallace Arnold
The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. Richard Bach
Truth comes out of error more easily than out of confusion. Francis Bacon
Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young. Russell Banks
Most plans are just inaccurate predictions. Ben Bayol
Spel chekers, hoo neeeds em? Alan James Bean
99% of the game is half mental. Yogi Berra
It's not over until it's over. Yogi Berra
Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses. Ambrose Bierce
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. Arthur Block
A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness. Daniel Boorstin
He who thinks he is raising a mound may only in reality be digging a pit. Ernest Bramah
I have learned to use the word "impossible" with the greatest caution. Werner von Braun
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. Werner von Braun
Why be a man when you can be a success? Bertolt Brecht
All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power. Ashleigh Brilliant
I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem. Ashleigh Brilliant
Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down. Ashleigh Brilliant
I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep going forward. Charlotte Bronte
Brooks' Law: Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies. Arthur Calwell
Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better. Albert Camus
If you pray for rain, don't be surprised if you're struck by lightning. Damien Cannon
No pressure, no diamonds. Mary Case
Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others. Winston Churchill
Kites rise highest against the wind -- not with it. Winston Churchill
Self-respect permeates every aspect of your life. Joe Clark
Intelligence is nothing without delight. Paul Claudel
Every man is the architect of his own fortune. Appius Claudius
You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there. Edwin Louis Cole
Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. Robert Collier
No one really knows enough to be a pessimist. Norman Cousins
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. Quentin Crisp
"It can't happen here" is number 1 on the list of famous last words. David Crosby
Become addicted to constant and neverending self-improvement. Anthony J. D'Angelo
Don't fear change - embrace it. Anthony J. D'Angelo
Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work. Bette Davis
Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival. W. Edwards Deming
Hard reality has a way of cramping your style. Daniel Dennett
It's kinda fun to do the impossible. Walt Disney
He who hesitates is probably smart... or maybe stapled to the floor. Dr. Squid
There's no success like failure, And failure's no success at all. Bob Dylan
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. Albert Einstein
When I discover who I am, I'll be free. Ralph Ellison
Hitch your wagon to a star. Ralph Waldo Emerson
No man can get through me but through my act. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Ralph Waldo Emerson
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. Marian Erickson
If you're strong enough, there are no precedents. F. Scott Fitzgerald
Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. Henry Ford
Whether you think that you can or that you can't, you are usually right. Henry Ford
Art is either plagiarism or revolution. Paul Gauguin
Be braver - you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. David Lloyd George
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. J. Paul Getty
Things don't go wrong, they simply happen. Jacob Ghitis
Only the mediocre are always at their best. Jean Giraudoux
When ideas fail, words come in very handy. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
We will burn that bridge when we come to it. Nick Gorski
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. Sacha Guitry
No man who needs a monument ever ought to have one. Nathaniel Hawthorne
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified. Aesop
The gods too are fond of a joke. Aristotle
Harmony seldom makes a headline. Silas Bent
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. Ingrid Bergman
Comedy is tragedy plus time. Carol Burnett
All who would win joy, must share it; happiness was born a twin. Lord Byron
Be happy. It is a way of being wise. Colette
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is more to life than increasing its speed. Mahatma Gandhi
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive. Samuel Goldwyn
He is happiest who hath power to gather wisdom from a flower. Mary Howitt
If you suffer, thank God! It is a sure sign that you are alive. Elbert Hubbard
Life is short. Live it up. Nikita Khrushchev
Joy is not in things, it is in us. Jess Lair
Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember. Oscar Levant
Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you will cease to be so. John Stuart Mill
The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of. Blaise Pascal
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt
Man is only happy as he finds a work worth doing, and does it well. E. Merrill Root
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way. Carl Sandburg
A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants. Arthur Schopenhauer
Poverty doesn't bring unhappiness; it brings degradation. George Bernard Shaw
Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. Henry David Thoreau
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. Mark Twain
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. Peter Ustinov
I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. Joe Walsh
For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.
Here's to your love, health, and wealth - and time to enjoy each.
If you wish you be like someone else, you waste the person you are.
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
To live a perfect life, you must ask nothing, give nothing, and expect nothing.
Sloppy, raggedy-assed old life. I love it. I never want to die. Dennis Trudell
What makes old age so sad is not that our joys but our hopes cease. Jean Paul Richter
Anxiety is interest paid on trouble before it is due. Dean Inge
So go for the jump, and chase all your dreams. Mark van Essen
Don't do whatever you like -- like whatever you do.
Life is ours to be spent, not saved. D. H. Lawrence
Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves. William Shakespeare
Living well is the best revenge. George Herbert
Be good and you will be lonesome. Mark Twain
Misery is optional. S. Gilmary Beagle
Even the the most tempting rose has thorns. Tristan Eggener
Everyone smiles in the same language.
Learn from the past. Look to the future. Live in the present. Steve Henthorn
If we couldn't laugh, we'd all go insane. Jimmy Buffett
Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man. Joseph Addison
It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. Alfred Adler
Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better. Laurie Anderson
The greatest virtues are those which are most useful to other persons. Aristotle
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. Isaac Asimov
Coward: one who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. Ambrose Bierce
He whose face gives no light shall never become a star. William Blake
I will answer anything I can with honor, but not about others. John Brown
Character is what you know you are, not what others think you have. Marva Collins
And virtue, though in rags, will keep me warm. John Dryden
It is always brave to say what everyone thinks. Georges Duhamel
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin. Anatole France
An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind. Mahatma Gandhi
The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within. Mahatma Gandhi
Live so that your friends can defend you but never have to. Arnold H. Glasgow
Yield to temptation - it may not pass your way again. Robert A. Heinlein
Humility is the first of the virtues -- for other people. Oliver Wendell Holmes
Born a saint, die a sinner -- born a sinner, die a saint. Doug Horton
Conscience is the window of our spirit, evil is the curtain. Doug Horton
There is no bad in good. Doug Horton
I want what I want when I want it! Roy Horton
A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares. Elbert Hubbard
The church saves sinners, but science seeks to stop their manufacture. Elbert Hubbard
Drugs are reality's legal loopholes. Jeremy Preston Johnson
Kindness is loving people more than they deserve. Joseph Joubert
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. Garrison Keillor
No great scoundrel is ever uninteresting. Murray Kempton
Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. John F. Kennedy
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. Rudyard Kipling
Life is like walking through snow: every step shows. Jess Lair
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. Doug Larson
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin
I drink to make other people interesting. George Jean Nathan
Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself. Friedrich Nietzsche
That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them. Dorothy Parker
To err is human, to forgive divine. Alexander Pope
I am not sincere, even when I say I am not. Jules Renard
A man wrapped up in himself makes a pretty small package. John Ruskin
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. Saint Augustine
Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. William Saroyan
No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it. Charles Schulz
He who is sorry for having sinned is almost innocent. Seneca
George Bernard Shaw {Also in: Altruism and Cynicism}
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. George Bernard Shaw
Virtue is insufficient temptation. George Bernard Shaw
They are never alone who are accompanied by noble thoughts. Philip Sidney
Everything in moderation - including moderation. Harvey Steiman
Goodness is the only investment that never fails. Henry David Thoreau
Always do right -- this will gratify some and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said. Mark Twain
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry. Mark Twain
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television. Gore Vidal
Some people are sympathetic; others are just pathetic. Peter Wastholm
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. Evelyn Waugh